“A heart broken open, O God, You will not refuse.” - Psalm 51
Often our first reaction to hard emotions like grief, hurt, shame and fear is to cast blame, find a distraction or try to fix it. Compassion is a quite different response. To be compassionate is to be present with an open heart - without trying to shift, fix or repress the emotions. This is not easy.
The first step in opening our heart is to be present to our own difficult emotions. Once we do this, an amazing thing happens. From parts of ourself that seemed repulsive or shameful, a gift arises - a gift we bring to the world out of who we already are, without changing a single thing about ourselves. After we have practiced embracing our own emotions, we can witnessing the emotions of other people - and learn it is possible to be present to painful feelings without suppressing them in any way.